Sandwich courtesy of ClassroomClipart.com, edited in Photoshop.

Dr. Evol Smell lives in the scary house on Brush Street, the one with the unkept lawn, tattered roof covered in blue tarp, and peppered with dead brown trees, what used to be evergreen trees, around the backyard. He enjoys foiling Amy Lockhart’s and the Elementrees’ plans whenever he can. He especially loves to—as much as he can—keep them from the truth.

One day, he stepped out of his meanie van to put a complaint letter to the newspaper in the mailbox outside his local bank. He left the engine running. When he turned to go back to his van, he saw in all caps on his back window the words “WASH ME!” dry finger-painted through the caked on dirt.

I turn around for a few seconds and this is what happens! he thought. What buffoon could have done this?

The worst part was Murky Waters was in the van the whole time.

Dr. Evol ran inside his van and found Murky snoozing. “Murky! Wake up! My van has been vandalized,” he said in a rushed voice as he shook Murky awake.

“Dr. Evol… Vandalized?” Murky said in a groggy voice. “I fell asleep. So sorry. Do you want me to hunt them down, sir?”

“That will not be necessary. It appears they are sending me a dirty note. Look at my back window.”

“ ‘H SAW EM’ …” Murky said thoughtfully. “Someone named ‘H’ is saying he saw you.”

“It says ‘Wash Me’ you fool! You’re reading it backwards.”

“Oh, of course, sir. I see it now. Not a bad idea, must say.”

Dr. Evol opened his eyes wide and turned toward Murky. “You are to blame for this! As my assistant you are to keep my van clean and free of hoodlums. You failed at both today.”

“Sorry, sir. Won’t happen again. There is a car wash near the gas station. Want to go now?”

Following Murky’s navigation, Dr. Evol successfully pulled into the $2 Car Wash.

“I forgot an umbrella, sir,” Murky said before their van entered the car wash.

“You can borrow mine,” Dr. Evol said. “I always carry a spare.” They both opened up their umbrellas, even though they had little chance of getting wet from inside the van.

At the end of the car wash tunnel, Dr. Evol paid the towel driers $2. “Don’t expect a tip,” he told them as he gave one of them the money.

He parked his car before the vacuums and simply said, “You can vacuum now.”

“It is my pleasure, sir,” Murky said as he opened the door and flew out like a wild bird escaping a cage. He could finally breathe again, it was so smelly in the van. He vacuumed all around the inside of the van as Dr. Evol adjusted his position as needed.

“Very well, Murky. That is enough,” Dr. Evol said at one point.

Murky got back in the van and said, “I live to serve you, sir.”

“Yes, I know Murky. That is why I want to reward you.” Dr. Evol took half of a battered tuna sandwich out of a bag and handed it to Murky. Murky could now identify the smell: it was coming from that sandwich! “I insist you have half of my sandwich,” Dr. Evol said as Murky felt trapped.

“Oh, Dr. Evol, you are much too generous with me after I have so failed you.”

“I insist,” Dr. Evol repeated in a deep voice.

Murky’s eyes watered. “Your generosity brings me to tears, sir.” Murky’s face turned red and his mouth twisted into odd shapes. He closed his eyes, took a bite, and managed to hold it down. “I’ll save the rest for later,” Murky said as he quickly put it back in the bag and smiled at Dr. Evol. “Thank you, sir.”

“You’ve redeemed yourself, Murky. We can eat tuna again for lunch tomorrow.”